Domestic and intimate partner violence

Domestic violence is when one person in a relationship purposely hurts another person physically or emotionally. Domestic violence is also called intimate partner violence because it is often caused by a husband, ex-husband, boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. Women also can be abusers. People of all gender identities, races, education levels, religions and ages experience domestic abuse. Victims of domestic abuse may also include a child or other relative or any other household member. In the United States, more than 10 million individuals experience some form of domestic violence each year.  

Domestic violence includes 

  • Physical abuse: Hitting, slapping, biting, shoving, grabbing, pinching, hair pulling, throwing things, etc.  

  • Emotional abuse: Yelling, name-calling, constant criticism, controlling what you do or threatening to cause serious problems for you are some examples. 

  • Sexual abuse: Forcing you to do something sexual you don't want to do. 

Some key points about domestic and intimate partner violence 

  • Immediate danger? Call 911. Police can arrest an abuser and escort you and your children to a safe place. 

  • Often, abuse starts as emotional abuse and then becomes physical later. It's important to get help early. 

  • Sometimes, it is difficult to recognize that you are being abused. But it affects a person’s wellbeing and could turn fatal if ignored. 

  • Your partner may try to make you feel like the abuse is your fault. You cannot make someone mistreat you. The abuser is responsible for his or her behavior. It’s an attempt to have control over you. 

  • Violence can cause serious physical and emotional problems, including depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. It's essential to take care of your health. Get help if you are using drugs or alcohol to cope with abuse.

  • There will be times when your partner seems to be very kind. Abusers often begin the mistreatment after periods of calm, and abuse often gets worse, not better, over time. Even if your partner promises to stop the abuse, understand this is a typical cycle and find ways to get help for abuse. 

  • An abusive partner needs help from a mental health professional. But understand the abuse may not stop. 

Being hurt by someone close to you is unacceptable. Reach out for support. Start here: