How to help a co-worker in distress

If you’re like most people who work, you probably spend more time around your fellow employees than almost anyone else.  After a while, you begin to get a sense of what’s typical for your coworkers on a daily basis. While everyone has ups and downs, there may be times when you notice a change in a co-worker that seems more significant or concerning.  Fortunately, by simply reaching out and starting a conversation, you can help a co-worker feel supported and get connected to additional help if needed. Below are four simple steps all employees can take to support a co-worker who may be in distress.

Step 1: Recognize the signs

The first step is recognizing any significant changes in a co-worker’s behavior.  Do they seem more tired, distant, sad or irritable? Have they withdrawn from others? Are they acting unusual?  These types of changes can be an indicator of a co-worker in distress, especially when they last more than a few days.

Step 2: Start the conversation

Once you’ve recognized the signs, it’s time to start a conversation. Find a quiet time and place to talk. Be relaxed, friendly and concerned in your approach. Help your co-worker open up by saying something like, “I’ve noticed you’re not your usual self. Are you OK? Is there anything I can do to help?” Then, let the person talk. Listen to what they say. Try not to interrupt or rush the conversation. Don’t judge their experiences or reactions. Rather, acknowledge that things seem tough for them right now. Show that you've listened by repeating back what you’ve heard in your own words.

Step 3: Encourage the next step

Your co-worker may feel a sense of relief just from opening up to someone who cares enough to listen. But sometimes, additional help is needed. Your organization may provide services, such as an EAP, to help employees who are struggling with a personal or emotional health concern. These services are typically free and completely confidential. If you’re unsure what services are available or how to access them, talk to your manager or HR department. Once you know, share this information with your co-worker and encourage them to reach out for help. Be positive about the role of professionals in getting through tough times.

Step 4: Check-in

If you can do so, check back in with your co-worker in a few days to see how they’re doing. Ask if they’ve been able to take the next step in getting additional help if needed. Ask if there is anything else they need. Remind them that you’re available to listen. Remember – your care and concern can make a real difference during a difficult time in your co-worker’s life.

Urgent situations

Sometimes, people may need more urgent help than you can provide. If a co-worker is in severe emotional distress or tells you that they’ve had thoughts about suicide, encourage them to call the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing 988 or 1-800-273-8255. If you are ever concerned about the safety of an employee or the workplace, tell a supervisor immediately. For emergencies, always call 911.

Know your resources

Before reaching out to a co-worker in distress, it may be helpful to have the contact information for the resources available to help employees. If you are not sure what resources are available, contact your Human Resources Department. 

Employee Assistance Program (EAP): _________________

Mental Health and Substance Use Disorder Benefits:  _______________

Other resources: ____________________________________

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); TTY: 1-800-799-4889

Emergencies: 911